I’m only best at being myself. No point trying to prove what’s not there.
I love my dad, but he’s annoying sometimes. And he certainly doesn’t have the tact to deal with my insecurites. Heh. The other day, I asked him why I was still single (wanted to hear what he had to say). And I regret asking.
He said things like, I’m not coy enough, I don’t know how to tease guys, flirt well, and so on. He says I clearly lack the hypocrisy that many girls use to snag a guy. My mum was no better. She said, well, there’s always SDU if you need help. There, there. Don’t worry about this, you’re still young. Let’s go on a holiday.
I know my parents love me deeply and mean no harm, but the things they say can be so selfish sometimes. But well, I think if I expected them to understand me, I’m setting myself up for disappointment. Because no matter how much parents love their children, they can never fully understand them. To be fair, I don’t fully understand my parents’ values at times, but they are certainly different than mine. I’m not saying I’m right and they’re wrong; I guess I’m just saying we have differences. And there comes a point in life I just wanna stop taking my questions to them, because this is the kind of regret I’d have to deal with afterward.
Ok. Regarding what my pop said. I know some girls have this ‘gift’ of being all coy and shy and just a different person in from of males (whether they realize it or not. I see it all the time), but I clearly lack in this. I know. I admit it. I am definitely not equipped with such skills, neither do I see the need to learn and hone such skills because to me, how you ‘snag’ a guy is how you’re gonna keep him. And so what if I do well in fooling the guy to fall in love with me? What next? In how many loving, committed relationships do you see the girl constantly putting in effort to flirt with her man. What kind of r/s is that anyway? Can’t speak for others, but certaintly not the one I’m looking for.
Tease guys? Seriously? So what I do is go around teasing all the guys is it? My dad has a warped perspective, man. If I carelessly do that, it’s not fair to the man out there I’ll ultimately marry. I don’t want him falling in love with a girl who falls in love with every Tom, Dick and Harry she meets.
I’m stubborn, and I refuse to believe that I have to behave in a different way just to get attached. I believe that I’m holding out for someone who’s not looking for a girl who flirts and bats her lashes at every male.
I’m direct, and I speak my mind or I don’t speak at all. So my guy’s gotta accept that and see that as a plus.
And my mom. How typical of her to never face problems head-on. Go on a trip indeed. Like that will solve all problems magically. SDU? I have nothing against matchmaking and dating agencies. I believe it’s a fantastic catalyst for people to meet each other. No stigma there. But it’s a personal conviction of mine, and it’s just between God and me, that I’m expectant that He’ll cause me to cross paths with my future partner.
I am a rather guarded person… I believe girls shouldn’t throw their pearls to anyone and everyone. Why not save it up for the guy who really deserves it?
So, as you can see, it was quite a blow from my parents. I feel hurt because the people who supposedly love me the most don’t understand these fundamental values I have. Obviously I didn’t get most of my values from them, for better or worse.
I just don’t see the point of changing who I am, because I’m only best at being myself.
I am a die-hard romantic at heart, and speed-dating and one-night stands just don’t cut it for me.
